#28 - Eternity

Thankful Challenge #28 - As of this morning, it has officially been a year since my dad had the spinal hemorrhage that first signaled his impending death. Since Thanksgiving was on November 22 last year we actually have two anniversaries that mark that day. I have a feeling in years to come we will likely associate Thanksgiving Day with that event even more so than November 22. In any case, either way we count it has been a year now.

Over the past month, I have had a chance to recognize and reflect on the multitude of things I am thankful for in my life. Some are more significant than others but identifying and recognizing all of them has helped me reclaim Thanksgiving which was one of my main goals of writing. This is my final entry in this series. It seems fitting to end this on Thanksgiving Day when we gather together to give thanks and enjoy the company of family.

One person will be missing from our celebration today. Dad won't be there because he is at an eternal celebration in heaven. When we sit down as a family for our Thanksgiving meal we will miss him terribly, but we all take comfort and find great joy that one day we will see him again. It is our faith in Christ and our certainty of eternal life that allow us this comfort and joy.

And so, for today and for this season of Thanksgiving I am most thankful for eternity through salvation made possible by Jesus' death on the cross. Heaven is our ultimate home, and one day we will all gather around the throne of Christ as we give thanks to Him forever. Happy Thanksgiving!

#27 - Vacations

Thankful Challenge #27 - Just like surprises, vacations can add variety and excitement to life. Some of our most cherished times as a family have been on vacations. There is something about being away from home and out of our normal routine that allows us to connect on a deeper level with one another. I am thankful for the awesome memories that vacations have provided through the years. Here are a few of those memories...

Lee and the girls were exploring the First Flight Museum in
Kill Devil Hills, NC. Lee's great uncle was the photographer
at the first flight and is memorialized by this statue.

We go to the beach every summer, so our girls
have grown up playing in the ocean.  They love it!

We love to explore new places together!  Here we are on top of the
St. Louis Arch.

We love Disney World!  Lee and the girls were posing in Mexico at Epcot.

We had the trip of a lifetime this summer when we traveled to
Europe for two weeks. We are standing on the banks of
 Lake Geneva in Switzerland with the Alps in the background.

#25 - Surprises!

Thankful Challenge #26 - I love surprises (good ones of course), and I am thankful for the joy they can add to our days! When life gets routine, I adore planning a surprise for someone I love. I have three great ones waiting in the wings this week. Shhh...don't tell!

#25 - Home

Thankful Challenge #25 - I love my home!  It isn't particularly grand or impressive, but it is warm and inviting.  After a long day at work I am always happy to head towards home!  I especially love my home at Christmas, and I can't wait to start decorating after Thanksgiving.  Today I am thankful for a warm place to call home and a family who feels my home with life!

We don't get much snow where we live, so we are always excited when a good snowstorm comes our way!

#24 - Friends

Thankful Challenge #24 - Throughout my life I have been blessed with some fantastic friends! Though many of them I do not see very often, I know that when we do see each other we will have a wonderful reunion, and I also know that if I need them all I have to do is call.  I hope they know the same about me. Our friendships have been forged by going through the trials and blessings of life together. Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friends loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Today I am thankful for the love of dear friends!

#23 - Mom

Thankful Challenge #23 - I can't mention my dad without also mentioning my mom.  They were married for 50 1/2 years!!!  They got married when she was 18 and he was 21, so they really did grow up together. Last Thanksgiving Day when Dad got sick, all of the dreams they had for their retirement vanished.  Mom stood by Dad's side throughout his 2 months in the hospital and 3 months in a rehab facility.  She was tireless in her efforts to advocate for him and assure that he receive the best care possible.  Then, in April, she brought him home so he could spend his last days on earth in the place he loved most.  He required complete care, and she did it all...turning him, changing him, dressing his wounds...everything.  Most importantly, when it became obvious that he wasn't going to recover and instead was going to leave this earth far sooner than any of us had imagined, she loved him right to the gates of heaven.  He went to be with Jesus with Mom right by his side - faithful to the end.  Watching Mom care for Dad for eight months was the greatest example of love I have ever witnessed.

The way Mom cared for Dad is the way she has cared for our family throughout the years.  She is a nurturer at heart, and she shines in her ability to care for others. She was with me, Shelly, and Paige when we welcomed our children to this world and took wonderful care of both the babies and the new mommies. When people are sick or hurting, she knows just what to do.  I am so thankful for Mom and the way she blesses our family!

I love this picture of Mom and Dad!
  Christmas 2009

#22 - Dad

Thankful Challenge #22 - One year ago today (which was also Thanksgiving Day) I woke up to the sound of the phone ringing at 6:45 a.m.  Little did I know that that ring would forever signal to me before...and after.  Although we didn't know it at the time my dad had suffered a spontaneous spinal hemorrhage that left him paralyzed from the waist down. Likely a result from a mass in his aorta, the hemorrhage signaled the beginning of the end for Dad. Over the next eight months Dad would suffer tremendously as he endured countless complications and symptoms that never had a definitive diagnosis.  At the end, we all felt (doctors included) that he probably had some type of cancer.  When it was suggested to run yet some more tests last summer to try and determine the cause of his steady decline, Dad decided he had enough.  He knew that even if he "got well" a full recovery was far from possible.

And so, I watched the man who loved me first leave this world.  I had the privilege of standing by his beside as he drew his last breath.  At the time I was struck with how very blessed I was to have him for a father, and that overwhelming sense of thankfulness has remained with me for these 3 1/2 months since he died. While I will always wish I had more time with him and look forward to the day I hear his voice again, I also know that having a dad like him was a gift.  So many people in this world never have someone in their life like him.

Dad taught me countless lessons, and I attribute so much of the person I am today to his influence in my life. I remember several years ago Dad talking about his dad with tears in his eyes.  He said to me, "Every time I needed him he was right there.  There was never a time that I needed him that he wasn't there.  That's the kind of Dad I've tried to be to you." You were, Dad.  You were.

Just a couple of weeks before he died, I asked Dad how he had managed to stay so positive - hopeful even - in the midst of all that had happened to him.  He wasn't angry, and he kept his sense of humor and his kindness to the very end.  He explained, "You know Brooke, everyone likes to think that they are brave and strong.  It's easy to believe that when things are going well. I'm just getting the chance to prove it."  

This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for Dad.

As a college professor who began his schooling in a one room schoolhouse, Dad valued education tremendously.
I am so glad I had the opportunity to share my graduation from my graduate program with him and Mom!

#21 - Kanakuk

Thankful Challenge #21 - Nestled in the Ozark Mountains of Missouri are K-1, K-2, K-West, K-Kountry, K-Seven, and K-Kauai that together comprise Kanakuk Kamps.  These kamps (yep, lots of things at Kanakuk are spelled with a "k") have been hugely influential in my life and the lives of my girls.  I attended kamp as a kamper, counselor-in-training (also called an Osage), counselor, and kitchie (kitchen helper) in the 1980s and early 1990s.  Madison, Kinsley, and Mollie have grown up at kamp and begin counting down the days until it is time to return as soon as we leave each summer.  Not wanting to be left out :), I have gone to kamp as a health center helper nearly every summer the girls have attended.

Over the years people have asked Lee and me why we send our girls to camp halfway across the country. For us, our decision to send the girls to Kanakuk is centered on the ability of the staff there to combine faith and fun in a dynamic way that draws kids in and encourages their spiritual development in tangible ways. Our girls' self-confidence has soared as they have mastered athletic skills learned at kamp, and their faith has deepened as they have been been discipled by counselors who love Christ and striving to glorify him in their lives.

During this season of thankfulness, Lee and I are extremely grateful for the staff of Kanakuk Kamps that make kamp happen every summer!  We consider Kanakuk one of the best investments we have made for our girls.  We are confident that years from now when our girls look back on the summers of their childhood and teenage years, the times they spent at Kanakuk will be among the most treasured memories.  If you've never heard of Kanakuk, take a peek at the video below to see what makes this place so special!

#20 - Second Chances

Thankful Challenge #20 - Just thinking about things tonight and realizing how thankful I am for second chances...with people, with choices, with situations.  Knowing that I have needed second chances many times through this life, may I always be a person who offers them to others.  Grace is an amazing thing.

#19 - My Sisters

Thankful Challenge #19 - I am blessed to have two sisters (two older sisters, that is. But don't tell them I told you!). The older I get, the more I treasure the times I get to spend with them and the opportunities we have to catch up over the phone. They are two of my favorite people in the whole world, and I count them among my dearest friends.

Shelly and Paige, if you're reading this, please know how much I love you and how grateful I am for you. We traveled a dark path together over the past year, and I'm not sure I would have made it without you. Your friendship and love brighten even the hardest days for me. I pray we have years and years left to live this life together. I love you!

#18 - Hospice

Thankful Challenge #18 - As I was working on yesterday's post about the good stuff, a couple of lines from the song kept running through my mind. Since Dad died I always cry at "Being right there as our time got small. Holding her hand when the good Lord called her up, yeah man that's the good stuff."

I don't even have to close my eyes to picture the last days we spent with Dad. He had a stroke on a Monday afternoon and died early Friday morning. In between the time he had the stroke and the time that he died, we spent hours upon hours around his bedside talking to him, holding his hand, telling stories, and comforting each other. It was a sacred time for our family as we told Dad "goodbye". I was so thankful that we were at home instead of in a hospital and that the incredible nurses from Hospice were there to check on Dad, reassure us, and prepare us for each phase of the dying process. Thanks to Hospice, we were all able to be there as his time got small, and we all surrounded him as the good Lord called him up. I am eternally grateful.

#17 - The Good Stuff

Thankful Challenge #17 - I am a country music fan.  I don't like the country songs about parties and girls, but I am a sucker for the songs that tell a story. One of my favorite songs is "The Good Stuff" by Kenny Chesney. Don't know it? Have a listen.

Even before Dad died, I would think, "This is the good stuff" at certain moments like cheering Kinsley on in swim meet or watching Madison perform in a play. After the trials of the last year and living through so many horribly difficult days with my parents, I have an even greater appreciation for the "good stuff" moments. There's nothing like walking through the fire to appreciate times of joy, beauty, or contentment.

So today, I give thanks for the good stuff. The hug of a friend I haven't seen for awhile, the laughter around the dinner table as we share about our days, Saturday mornings curled up on the couch with a good book and a cup of coffee...the moments that bring a smile and a realization that while life can be really, really hard sometimes it can also be really, really good.

#16 - Rest

Thankful Challenge #16 - Awww... The gift of rest!  I am thankful that in God's perfect plan for creation, he included a day of rest!  I confess that I'm not very good at resting on a consistent basis, but I know that I function better when I do (rest, that is)!  So, tonight I'm logging off early and taking some time to rejuvenate for the coming week.

#15 - Mollie

Thankful Challenge #15 - Just a few short weeks after Kinsley and Madison turned three, Lee and I received the surprising news that Zehmer Baby #3 was on her way!  We have called Mollie our "Bonus Baby" ever since, and we are so thankful that God proved the doctors wrong when he decided we needed one more little one in our family!

As a baby, Mollie was very observant.
She didn't cry much, and she took in everything around her.

Being a third child and the baby of the family myself, I know there are certain perks that come with being the baby!  I loved every minute of Mollie's babyhood and toddler years because I didn't have to split my attention between two little ones and I knew that Mollie would be our last baby.  We spent lots of time rocking, snuggling, and playing!

Mollie was a major climber as a toddler.  Nothing
was out of reach for her!

If I were asked to describe Mollie in one word, I would describe her as "joyful". Mollie loves people and fun, and she thoroughly enjoys good times! If there is a party happening, Mollie is usually right in the middle of it!

Besides home, Mollie's favorite place on earth is K-Kountry,
the camp she goes to in Missouri.  She is a "blob queen"
there because she can stay on it for hours!

It really is true that "They don't stay little forever!"  Our baby is growing up much faster than we would like very quickly! Just as with her sisters, we are so excited to see all God has in store for Mollie, and we plan to enjoy every minute we have with her while she is still at home!

Mollie on the beach at Hatteras Island, Summer 2013

#14 - Esther

Thankful Challenge #14 - One year ago today the world lost while heaven gained a dear soul. On November 14, 2012, my friend Esther crossed the finish line in her courageous battle with cancer. She was a brilliant, kind, and creative person who made you feel happy just by being around her. She loved children and taught generations of first graders how to read. (She also taught many novice teachers like myself how to teach!) She made amazing tomato sandwiches and grew incredibly beautiful gardens year after year.  I had the opportunity to visit with Esther about 2 1/2 weeks before she died, and I was so grateful be able to thank her for her friendship and tell her that I love her.

Esther had a wonderful sense of humor and laughed often and hard!
 She was the wedding director in our wedding.
 Here she is at my bridesmaid's luncheon between Aunt Marty and Paige
 sharing her classic Esther smile. 

Today I am thankful for the gift of knowing Esther and being her friend. I look forward to sharing many more laughs with her in heaven someday!

#13 - Kinsley

Thankful Challenge #13 - Little Miss KK is such a treasure!  Kinsley is our second born (by one minute), and I can honestly saying that raising twins + one has been the greatest adventure of my life.

The girls loved squeezing into tight spaces together
 when they were small!

Kinsley has always been a nurturer at heart.  She started mothering the smaller babies in the church nursery when she was still a baby herself.  She has always been very kind and attentive to the youngest and oldest members of our churches, a quality that has served to endear her to many people!

Peekaboo!

Kinsley is extremely diligent and hard-working.  As a result, she is a great student!  She swims on the high school swim team and puts in long hours throughout the winter to improve her time.

I love going to swim meets to watch Kinsley swim!

When the girls were small people would often comment, "Double Trouble!" to me when we were out in public.  I would congratulate them on their original repartee smile (ever so sweetly of course) and respond, "No, double blessing!"  Lee and I have always felt that we were richly blessed with the arrival of Kinsley and Madison 16 years ago, and we love watching them grow and develop into the women God created them to be!

Kinsley overlooking London from a balcony at St. Paul's Cathedral.

#12 - Madison

Thankful Challenge #12 - How I love this girl!  Madison is our firstborn (by one minute). Together she and Kinsley made Lee and me parents and turned our family of two into a family of four!

Madison (left) and Kinsley (right) slept best snuggled together
when they were tiny.

Madison has always been an intense soul. When she was small she was either intensely happy or intensely...not! She feels deeply and has always been concerned for the underdog. When she was little she didn't like it when people (or things) got hurt or sick. We had many conversations that started something like this, "But Mama, WHY did Humpy Dumpy fall off the wall? WHY can't people put him 'gether again?"

I can still hear Madison asking, "Mama, why that man so angy?"
She stared and stared at him...long enough to even get the eyes right!

Madison has a strong musical gift, and I LOVE to hear her perform. She sings like an angel and plays the piano beautifully!

Madison played the fairy godmother in our
youth theater's production of Shrek.

Being a mom is one of the great joys of my life, and I am so very grateful that God chose me to be Madison's mom! I don't know all of the plans God has for her, but I feel certain that he is going to use her in big ways!  

2013   Mollie - First day of 7th grade, Madison and Kinsley - First day of 10th grade

#11 - The USA

Thankful Challenge #11 - It only seems right that on Veteran's Day I stop for a moment to acknowledge how grateful I am to live in the United States.  When I consider the blessings that come from being born American, I am deeply humbled.  As Americans we have a multitude of freedoms that many in this world can only dream about, and most in our country have a vast treasure of resources when compared to others around the world.

I am also thankful for the men and women who have served in the armed forces.  The sacrifices and dedication of veterans are gifts to be treasured.  Thank you, veterans!

#10 - Our Church

Thankful Challenge #10 - Our family is so blessed to be in fellowship with our church!  It is a wonderful place to serve the Lord.  The people are gracious, kind, and committed to their faith.  When I tell people that I am a pastor's wife I often get a look of sympathy with a comment along the lines of, "You poor woman.  I know that is so tough!"  I am quick to share with them that serving our church is a joy and an honor because of the people we get to serve and their willingness to let us walk with them through life - the highs and the lows.

When my dad was sick, my church ministered to our family in ways I will never forget.  The meals, hugs, prayers, tears, visits, and cards were tremendously meaningful to me and sustained our family in very tangible ways.  The significance of belonging to a community of faith became more apparent to me than ever before.

So, on this Sunday in November, I am thankful for my church and for the saints within its walls!

#9 - Weekends!

Thankful Challenge #9 - I'll admit that being thankful for weekends sound a little shallow, but I am (thankful for weekends that is)!  In a family with a mom and dad who both have demanding careers, two girls in high school, and one girl in middle school, weekends give us time to breathe.  We are able to have deeper conversations than, "Are you picking the girls up today?" and "Remember to turn your uniform money in tomorrow."  We spend time around our house which I LOVE, have time to do necessary chores (like laundry - clean clothes are always a good thing), and worship together on Sunday mornings.  So, today I am giving thanks for weekends (especially three day weekends like we have right now!)

#8 - My Health

Thankful Challenge #8 - Okay, so I know people always say they are thankful for their health.  I had always included that in my "things to be thankful for" list, but I had never realized the true blessing of good health until the past year.  When Dad got sick last Thanksgiving, we were thrust into a completely foreign world.  I'm not sure I've ever been to a more somber place than a Neuro ICU.  I remember thinking "I didn't know that people could be this sick and still be alive" when I visited him the first time.

The days he spent in ICU were followed by many more days on the Neuro floor of the same hospital, in the rehab center affiliated with that hospital, in a rehab facility in our community, and at home with 24/7 health care.  After November 22, 2012, Dad never had a well day until he met Jesus on August 2.  His body failed again and again, and he was in near constant discomfort if not pain.  He was subjected to an inordinate number of painful tests and procedures. It was extremely difficult to watch.

As a result, during this Thanksgiving season, I am especially grateful for my health.  I am able to do most everything I want to do physically, and when I eat right and get adequate rest I feel good most of the time.  What a blessing!

#7 - My Morning Drive

Thankful Challenge #7 - When people find out I work in a school system 40 minutes from my home, the first comment they usually make is something along the lines of  "I bet you hate that drive, don't you?!?" In all actuality, I enjoy the drive to work each day.  It gives me a chance to drink my coffee, listen to praise music, and begin my day with prayer.  Now that the time has changed I get to see glorious sunrises on clear days.  I am thankful for this little time of quiet before the busyness of the day takes over.

#6 - Lee

Thankful Challenge #5 - How blessed I am to be married to a great man!  Above all else, Lee is a man of honor and of faithfulness.  He serves our family tirelessly, and even after 20 years we still have fun together! Lee has many qualities that I am thankful for, but above all, I am grateful that we get to live life together.  We have been married long enough to have had some incredible mountaintop experiences together and to have had times when all we could do was to hold on to each another and to God and pray that we make it through to the other side intact.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 is a great picture of marriage.  "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.  But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."  Lee and I have picked each other up time and again, and I pray we have many more years of building our life together!

The day that started it all...

Summer 2013 on the banks of Lake Geneva

#5 Teaching Preschool Sunday School

Thankful Challenge #5 - One month out of every three I have the privilege of teaching preschool Sunday School.  What joy it does my heart to spend 45 minutes in the presence of 3 and 4 year olds as I share with them the great love of Jesus.  Nearly every Sunday I am with them I am struck by two things:
1) I spend my weekdays working in a school with 450 students.  While many of my students come from loving, stable families, many of my students do not.  The heartache some bring to school is real...and big...and heartbreaking.  On Sundays it does my heart good to be surrounded by little people who come with enough...enough love, enough care, even enough food.  In some strange way, spending time with my little Sunday School treasures fortifies me to go back to my school on Monday mornings ready for the challenges I will find there.
2) Is there anything more precious than telling little people that Jesus loves them?  No matter our lesson, no matter the story we're studying, that is the one truth I remind them of over and over.  Jesus loves you...Jesus loves you...Jesus loves you.  Reminding them reminds me that the entire gospel is built around the truth of Jesus' love for each of us.

And so, every three months I pack up my instruments and a puppet or two, brush up on my fingerplays, and make my way into the land of the little people.  In return for my time spent teaching, I get lots smiles with "Hi Miz Bwooke", long-winded stories told from the perspective of preschoolers, and tight hugs around my knees.  I am blessed indeed!

www.tabletoptruths.blogspot.com

#4 - Autumn Days

Thankful Challenge #3 - I adore autumn.  The temperatures are cooler, the skies are clearer, and nature seems to sing with the wonder of God's creativity during the fall months.  We have a tremendous number of trees in our yard.  While the leaves they produce can be overwhelming come raking time, the beauty they offer is second-to-none.  In this season of gratefulness, I give thanks that God eases us from the bounty of summer to the bleakness of winter through the gift of autumn.

#3 - One Special Owl

Thankful Challenge #3 - I am thankful for the owl that lives near my parent's house.  In years past we have heard him nearly every night throughout the summer and fall.  This year we only heard him once all summer...the night my dad died.  He serenaded the hearse as it drove away, carrying my dad in it.  We did not hear him again until this week.  Wednesday night as I was walking through my parents' garage, I saw the wheelchair ramp my dad used his last few months and thought, "I sure do miss Dad."  Right on cue, the owl hooted twice and then flew through the trees where I could see him.  I am grateful for little reminders of a special man who I miss like crazy!

#2 - Fall afternoons at the football stadium

Thankful Challenge #2 - I am thankful for the afternoons I spent at the football field this fall as Mollie cheered for her middle school football team!  It was so fun to watch her and her friends perform all of the cheers, dances, and stunts they worked on since June, and I got to see several of my former students play football!  The team finished the season 5-3.  These days are fleeting...

Mollie's squad has rhythm!  They do a great job of combining
hand AND feet movements during their cheers.

Lining up to shake hands is always more fun after a win!

Look at that smile!

Good friends make cheering extra fun!

Mollie and Mary Lloyd have been best friends since first grade.
They make a fantastic cheer duo!

Thankful Challenge

So...it's been awhile.  I planned to post regularly to this blog when I started it, and then life was interrupted.  My dad got sick last Thanksgiving Day, and in the span of just a few minutes our lives were turned upside down.  The next 8 1/2 months were a blur of doctors, hospitals, rehab, and hope upon hope that Dad would recover.  Dad had the ultimate recovery when he went to be with Jesus on in the wee hours of the morning on August 2nd. Since then, I've been learning to live without him.  It's a tough journey, this one that I'm on.  I miss Dad everyday.  I suspect I always will.

As the first anniversary of the day Dad got sick draws near, I am feeling the need to reclaim Thanksgiving.  It has always been one of my most favorite holidays.  Unfortunately, for the last 11 months Thanksgiving Day has signified tremendous sadness to our family.  It is my hope that by taking the Thankful Challenge, the dread surrounding Thanksgiving Day in my mind will give way to the joy that can be present even in the difficult times.

Thankful Challenge #1 - I am thankful for the privilege of working in a building full of children each day!  I don't have to go far for a smile and a hug, and I get to watch little people learn and grow.